Mama 06/04/1958 – 12/08/2016

Hi, it has been so long.

My title says it all. My mother passed away on December 8, 2016. Until now, it’s still hard for me to accept it. She was my best friend, I call unto her whenever I am confused of something. She was just a text away. I miss her so much. I still can’t imagine her gone. I don’t know what to do with my life in the future. She was my advisor. If I need something, she is willing to give it to me. She’s willing to sacrifice. Why? Why didn’t I saw the signs that she was already suffering that much? I still have lots of plans for us. Mang, I’m still saving money for our Hong Kong trip. You always wanted to go there right? I’m sorry Mamang if I haven’t been a good daughter to you. If I always gave you headaches. I love you so much my Mamang. Please visit me in my dreams, I just want to see you smile at me, talk to me. You already visited everyone, make them feel that you around them, but what about me? Are you mad at me Mang? Do you not love me? I miss you so much. I just wanna see you.

Lately, I have been depressed. Yes, I think I am. it might not show cause I don’t show it. Actually, I don’t want to talk about this. It is a sensitive matter to me though. I act strong yet, I am weak. my heart is weakening. And no, I am not sick.

PAPA. You are my superman. You are my first love. You are the first person on the opposite sex that came to my life that I deeply care and love. I love you even though at times, we don’t understand each other. I have never been in an argument with you and I am proud of that. After all, I am a good daughter in front of him.

PAPA. You were so strict to me before. I don’t understand why. I was even angry at you because of you being strict. Thinking that you do not trust me and that I am capable of handling myself. But you were right, I can’t. I am thankful that you were strict.

PAPA. Sorry, I am not a good daughter. I have done things, unimaginable to you. I have done things I am ashamed of. I have done things, I know would make you hate me. I have done things I never thought I would do. I’m sorry if I’m a pretentious daughter. I’m sorry if I only talk to Mama about lots of things. I know I am one of your favorite child, and I’m sorry if I  don’t see  you as my favorite parent.

…and for that, please, let me make it  up to you. I love you.

your daughter,

Berlyn

Boring Rants

Hi, this will just be a boring blog of my rants. haha!

I heard that EunSiHae is going to enlist this year, following that is our Wookie and my Kyuhyunnie. Just why? Does that mean that for the 3-4 years, they are going to go on a hiatus? And what about SS6 Encore being the last concert before the hiatus? Ahhhh!! I just can’t. Y_Y

Can’t I even see my boys? Wait, I can, i just have to wait 3-4 fvcking years!!!! I just hate the fact that the only goal i have right now is to watch Super Show concert wont bw happening soon. The only reason why I’m working so hard, even though it really is hard to stay awake at night! SS6, why didn’t they come here in my country? Why do I have to wait a million years just to see them? Just why? Am i not gonna see them perform live? It’s like me and SJ are walking on a parallel line, we can never meet.

Just like when I was on Japan, argh! That thought! I arrived at the airport, on my way to Yokohama, then someone mentioned that Kyuhyun was also in Japan, in Tokyo, performing and it was his last day in there!!!! And I cant do anything about it since I am on a train in between Tokyo and Yokohama!! and then what? They went to my country for SS5 while I was on Japan. Are they kidding me? >__< And they went straight to Osaka for SMTown. And Osaka is like 9999999998 miles away form where I was staying. And I dont even have a Japanese friend who is the same age as me to go there, if ever. =( And lastly, my last day in Japan! I heard that SJ is also coming to Japan, like we were on the airport at the same time. I was like going to hyperventilate when I knew that. But when I checked on the updates on the whereabouts, they were on the airport on the other side of the country. WTF?? OTLL

It was really disappointing. And now, I am working so hard promising that I will watch SS6. I saved up money only to know that they are not going to have a concert here. Just why??? Yes, i know they were here, I dont know, DKFC?? and the other one where there is also SNSD and Red Velvet and the other boy group, ahhh, I forgot, but no. I dont want to watch other perform. I only want  to watch Super Junior. Silly as it sounds, but yeah, ONLY them. Concert tickets are expensive as well as the plane tickets so it have to be worth it. I dont like spending my money for only what? 30 minutes of SJ? ha! no thank you! >_<

Okay, okay. That’s enough. I might not be able to stop ranting.

Bad Girl =)

I’m in my work station now. Bwahaha. And doing this is so not allowed. But I don’t have any work to do, sooo,I’m guessing I’ll be more active now here. But not now 😉

hello! annyeong! haha :3 it’s been so long, right? I have been really busy.. Haha! No, actually, i don’t have any resources or what so ever. hihi. 😀 But, from now on. I will update more frequently. but no not now. hihi

…?

kyaaaaa!!!! It has been so long since I last visited you. T_T Sorry for not keeping you updated. Well, as you see, im so fvcking broke and jobless. huhu. 😦 i just want to say that. that’s all. bye for now Y_Y

i dont have any topic to talk about for now. so yeah, maybe some other time? okay? >_<

Mary Stayed Out All Night (blah. blah, blah…)

Finally! I was able to finish this after a week or so? Haha! If only my mom was not hospitalized and I dont have any distractions, I could have finished this in 3 days. Hehe.

I love this! Really, it’s so fun to watch this. I love every episode of it. I should have this earlier. I was planning to watch this because of Jang GeunSeuk and Moon GeunYoung. Ahhhh, they made such a cute cute couple. It really is a must. Hehe. I love how they fight and they make up instantly. I also like how MooKyul always waits up for MaeRi to come to him. Hehe. I love them both. And also, the OST are so cool! I love all their OSTs. Planning on downloading them all. 

Since I love all the episodes, I also like the scene where JungIn and MaeRi was the running bride and groom. Haha! That was unexpected. Because I thought after JungIn said that the marriage is cancel, I thought he would say to MaeRi, “Go now.” But they both end up running away from the altar. Haha! And this drama doesnt need lots of kissing scenes because you can really feel the love between the two main actors.

I also like JaeWook’s character here. He always seems so cool. Haha! The one when he was on the dining table and was practicing how to act cool when reaching some food then MaeRi comes out and he spits out the water he was drinking. Haha! I love that scene. And also, when he has nowhere to go and had to sleep on his office. And he can’t sleep on the couch. When suddenly his assistant came by and threw away the pillow instantly. It was so cool and funny to watch. Haha!

Oh well, all in all. I really love the drama. Daebak!

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..hiatus?

Haha! I haven’t been able to watch dramas because I stayed on a hospital for these past three days. Huhu~ I should finished the drama but because I was on a hospital with no WiFi connection. Like really? -_- Oh well, but now I am back! I am really back. Hehe. Need to finish the drama before Tuesday comes.. Can I do it? YES!

Arang and The Magistrate (blah, blah, blah…)

Finally! I am able to finish the Korean drama Arang and The Magistrate after a month or so.. Hahaha. XD

So, what do I think about the Kdrama? It was okay. Yeah, just an okay.. Because, i got bored in the middle of it. Like most of the episodes are boring for me. It was an okay for me in the beginning and got excited for the last parts of the drama.. I don’t know why it’s like that for me. kkk~ But oh well, I like the revelations though.. And the twists. It was kinda out of my expectations.. Especially the part where Arang died.. And why she died.. I also like their Jade Emperor, he’s so cute when he smiles. haha.

The endings good too.. They were reincarnated and the cute part was only little Arang remembers it all.. Hahaha.. So cute.. And also, it was shown what happened to the other casts.. So there is no hanging part on it.. They were just cute.. kkk~ well, I personally like Shi Min Ah.. She’s the only reason why I watched the drama. ^_^ 

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