Memory in Japan

LoL. Okay, haha. Well, yeah, basically, it’s about a memory which I wanted to forget so bad but wanna kept on holding on unto it.

I think I fell in love in Japan. Yes, I think I did. And no, it’s not the same person I talked about in the past post. This one is new. Haha. I’ve been meaning to tell you about him. Of course, i know his name. I’m a stalker, remember? But no, I wont mention names. Okay, okay, let’s just say that his name is James.

I first met James last November 8th, of course this year. I met him, thanks to my brother-in-law, in a bowling alley. My first impression of him was nothing. Like literally, nothing. I was happy back then, not because of him but because me and my sister was busy talking about some people and we kept on laughing. We were really happy. And then I noticed James, he keeps on looking at us every time we laugh, at first, I thought, does he understand every word we were saying? But then, I just let it off the hook. But after that, I kept on noticing him. And then I realized that I am slowly liking glancing at him. Haha.

I blame his fvcking deep dimples! Like really! His dimples are so so so deep that you can imagine yourself drowning in them. Haha. I like his smile. He’s sporty too. He maybe not that good in bowling, but at least he knows how to play it. So yeah, that night, all I did was noticing his every move. Haha. I know, I know, I’m so pathetic. >_<

When we went home. We went to separate directions. I was kinda, sad about it. Like, the time that I kept on glancing isn’t enough. It’s like, nearly 2 or 3 hours. So yeah, it wasn’t enough for me. Hihihi. We went to the van and one of my brother-in-law’s workmate was with us, we’re gonna drop him off in the main gate since he lives outside the base. So yeah, he was with us. And then when we are on the way to drop the said workmate, we saw James walking in the streets with just a sweatshirt in the cold cold evening. So Kuya* decided to just pick him up also and drop him off the ship. And then, pooof! he was inside the car and I have never felt so happy. Haha. The workmate was the first one to go down, I mean, he was the first one to come out of the car since the main gate is nearer than the ship. James sat beside me after that and damn, he smells so good. You can’t even smell alcohol on him unlike the workmate. Hihihi. And no, I’m not biased just because I like James because my sister approves of it. Approved about him smelling good. Lol. So yeah, and then the destination is now here. James went bye-bye.

That night, I wasn’t really bothered about him. Like really, I was like, yeah, i saw another cutie. And thought that I’ll never ever see him again. But, destiny works in a mysterious ways. Hahaha. November 9th, Kuya* went home and said, Okay, everybody get dressed! We are going bowling! That moment, I thought about the other guy, no, not that workmate, but the other guy I mentioned about on my other post. I was like, Yey! I’m going to see him again and that James. And then I went to the bedroom and change my clothes.

When we arrived in the  bowling alley, there he is, with the same sweatshirt or let me just say a hoodie, since it has a hood on the back. Lol. Smiling so beautifully with that deep dimples! Hihihi. Yes, I was looking at him again, hehe. 😉 I just can’t help it. His dimples are really attracting me and telling me to look at it. Hahaha. 😀 And I will always fall for guys with dimples or having that small little eyes. Hihi. He doesn’t have both but he has this two deep dimples in each of his cheeks. 😉 So yeah, back to where we arrived there. I was left behind in the counter, but I didn’t mind it though because I was busy stealing glances of him. That I guess were caught by him? Lol. I don’t care though. It just means that he is also stealing glances of me but I was just looking at him first. Haha! So yeah, night passed like that. Me looking at him. He was talking to his phone that time, and it kinda hurt me(?) since, oh I don’t know. Maybe because I was thinking that it was his girlfriend he was talking too. But yeah, I still kept on glancing at him. And then he went home earlier than us. 😦 So, it didn’t happen like the previous night. Us, taking him to the ship, me being his seatmate in the van, and me smelling his sweet sweet perfume. But, it was still okay to me since, glancing is enough and I had a very good time, playing bowling. Like really, hehe. It was my first time to play it. Hehe. Even though I have the lowest score but Kuya* said that it was not that bad for a first time player. Hihi.

November 10th. The day that I finally know the truth behind James that shocked the hell out of me. The day that my emotions are so mixed up that I can’t help myself but cry. It was in the afternoon while me and Ate** was cooking food for dinner, she mentioned about James. And of course, I like what she mentioned so I asked what about him. She mentioned about him asking about me to Kuya*, since they are workmates and on the same ‘team’. I was curious about what he would ask about me, but Ate** said that Kuya* didn’t told her about what he asked. So, I just let it go. But then Ate** confessed to me, she said that the reason why she left me in the counter behind because Kuya* said something about Let them talk. I was literally shocked! Really? So that was the reason behind it? Of course I noticed about me being alone in the counter but I didn’t realized that, that was the reason. So I was literally shocked and don’t really know how to react. So I just mentioned some lame jokes about it. My mind was thinking so many thoughts, like, WTH? Why didn’t he talk to me? Why is he so busy talking on his phone? Why isn’t he the same in the movies that would make the first move and talk to girls who are alone? Why? Just why? 😦 Yeah, i felt sad. Ate** thought he likes me, and I like him too. If he talked to me, I’ll be so happy to accept him without second thoughts. I don’t care if he’ll think I’m easy, but hey, I’ll be going home so why not grab the opportunity? But, the thoughts also came that maybe he didn’t do it because he knows I’m going away and he knows it wont work. But at least, he could have just talk to me, right? Like a simple hi and hello and good bye will do. But he didn’t do it. And then Ate** mentioned that on the first night, he noticed that James was always glancing at me, and same on the second night. It didn’t help actually. Because I would really think that he really like me. I really felt so heartbroken by that.

It’s the reason why i cried secretly that night and the reason why my stalking skills, yet again, improved. I searched his social page. Looking for a mutual friend, and then it leads me to one of their workmate and then boom! I saw his name. I know his first and last name! Bingo! Now that I know his name, I searched his own page, but sadly, none of it fits. Nothing came up. Like nothing. So I was stuck. Nowhere to go. Only know his name and that’s all. 😦

Up until the day I’m about to go back to Philippines. I was really imagining things that he would somehow showed up. Like a scene in a movie. But sadly he didn’t. When Kuya* mentioned about his workmate will help us to the airport, (since he can’t because he was deployed) I was secretly wishing, praying and hoping that it was him. But sadly, he’s not. 😦

I’m back now here in the country and I looked up again the page where I have known his name if there is an update, but then there is no update or whatsoever. So up until now, I am stuck with his name. And day passed, I am slowly forgetting about him because my attention was caught in the anime I was watching. And I didn’t exactly remembered when I have stopped thinking about him.

This past few days I was really happy, not caring about anything. Looking for boys, up and down, looking for a cutie, laughing so hard together with my cousins. I was really happy that I forgot all about him.

Yet I am talking about him right now. You’re probably wondering why I was talking about him when I just said that I have totally forgotten about him. Hear my story, again.

And today, last day of November, the 30th, I opened up my page, just to visit, looked up if there is a message or notifications, and there it is. The red mark that reads one new message. I opened it, and it was my sister. She suddenly mentioned his name, and I was like, waiiiit! I wasn’t ready to read his name yet. But it was too late. When I read it, all memories came rushing back. The hurt, his dimples, his black and white sweatshirt, his smell, every thing about him came back to me. My sister mentioned about him staying in their apartment and that he first look at the picture where there is me included in there. And all the thoughts came back, maybe he really likes me? 😦 i’m so confused.

Okay, Ate** said that she’ll be my stalker. She’ll tell me what she’ll know. And so far, his name is confirmed! I was happy about that. Ate** also mentioned some things. So far so good. Now all I’m hoping is to see his social page so I can stalk him. Hihi. Just looked at his photos though. Hihihi.

Okay, that’s all for now. Thank you for reading. If I have one. hihi 🙂 Maybe I’ll do an update if there is a need to do one 😉 😉 😉




*Kuya – a term I call my big brother

**Ate – a term I call my big sister


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